You Bet!
by Mona
Summary: A birthday gift for MC3. She wanted me to uploaded this here so everyone can enjoy it. Rating raised for some mild language and violence.
1. Something Wicked This Way Comes

"You Bet!"

Disclaimer: The characters of Lilo & Stitch are copyright Disney and used without permission.

A little Polynesian girl made a face. "I can't wear that! It makes me look like a pink frosted cupcake!"

Her older sister sighed and tossed the pink dress onto her bed and picked up another one. A navy blue and white sailor dress. "Then wear this. I'll iron it for you while you give Stitch his..." Her voice raised. "Bath!"

Lilo groaned but resigned. "Fair enough."

Upstairs, Stitch bolted upright in his bed, tossed the covers aside, and dove into Lilo's toybox.

"Stitch!" called Lilo. "Come on. This is a special occasion." She glanced around their room looking for the fluffy blue alien. "I'll let you have coconut cake."

"With coffee?" Experiment 626 piped up.

"OK, with coffee." Lilo secretly hoped she wouldn't regret it. "We're meeting my cousins today."

"Cousins?"

"My real cousins. Villefort and Maharene. They live in New York." The girl knew basic geography. She knew that her home island of Kauai was part of a state called Hawaii, and Hawaii was part of a bigger country. But the other states, especially New York, seemed so far away. Far from the shelter of O'hana. She hadn't seen her cousins in a long time.

In the other bedroom, a skinny alien in an orange muumuu was holding up two dresses. "Which one should I wear to the airport?" In one hand was a blue and white gingham. The other was red and white striped.

Jumba Jookiba, in usual shorts and Hawaiian shirt, looked pointedly at Pleakley. "One is making you look like Dorothy of Oz and other is making you look like candy cane. Though you should never wear horizontal stripes."

"What, they make me look fat?"

"No, shorter."

Pleakley stuck out his two tongues. "You're just jealous of my fashion sense!"

"I am not seeing what big fuss is about."

"On Earth, having relatives over is cause for celebration. They pull out of the really breakable dishes, clean the house, and act totally fake. It's fascinating!"

"Whatever."

At the same time, workers in the local pineapple cannery were processing the crop.

Nobody noticed a small yellow sphere with the number 451 on the conveyer belt. The experiment pod fell off the belt and landed in a can, which was filled partway with syrup. There was a golden glow...

"Gantu!" Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel's face appeared on the videophone. "What reports of failure have you brought me this morning?"

"Uh...none," replied the former captain.

"What, you finally caught an experiment?"

"None have been activated--"

He was interrupted by the container computer beeping. "Warning. Experiment 451 activated. Primary function: Printed alteration."

The hamster-like alien smirked. "Normally I'd tell you to get going, but I won't get my hopes up."

"Yeah, your chances of actually getting it are one in a googol," piped up Experiment 625.

"Nobody asked you," growled Gantu.

"Stop with all the not paying attention to me!" cried Hamsterviel. "Don't make me come over there and bite your kneecaps, you idiotic belugan biped!"

"You heard Hamster-wheel," snickered 625.

Gantu groaned and snatched 625's sandwich. He popped it in his mouth. The yellow experiment glared.

"HAMSTERVIEL! HAMSTERVIEL! VIEL, NOT WHEEL!" shouted the little white alien in a voice that could shatter glass.

At the airport, Nani pointed two figures exiting the terminal. "There they are!"

Villefort and Maharene Pelekai had noticed Nani as well, and were walking toward them. They were fraternal twins who had recently celebrated their twenty-first birthday.

Villefort, the older, was a tall, medium weight man dressed in gray slacks and jacket. A blue ascot and black Italian leather loafers completed his ensemble. Gleaming from his wrist was a gold Rolex watch. A glass monocle was in his left eye. He didn't need the eyewear, but wore it because he thought it made him look distinguished.

His sister was slightly shorter. She wore a simple black dress with platinum necklace and bracelet. Expensive-looking platinum and ruby earrings dangled from her ears. Thin and willowy, she looked like a slight breeze would knock her over. "Nani!" She threw her arms around her cousin, nearly suffocating Nani in her expensive perfume.

Villefort was silent, calculating. His gaze fell on Jumba and Pleakley. "And who are these companions of yours?"

Nani laughed nervously. "Uh, this is my Uncle Jumba and Aunt Pleakley."

Villefort was not convinced, but decided to keep his mouth shut. His cell phone rang. "Excuse me."

"So, where are you from?" Maharene asked, more out of politeness than curiosity.

"We're from Swizzleland," Jumba said quickly. "It is a little country with hills. Europe, I am believing."

Villefort held his phone away from his ear. "I can't understand a word this guy is saying. Do any of you speak French?"

"No," Pleakley quickly interjected. "We speak Swiss."

Maharene grabbed her brother's arm. "Come on, Vill. We'll pick up our luggage and meet you back at the front lobby." The twins walked toward the baggage claim, but ducked behind a potted palm.

"Do not be trusting them," they overheard Jumba say. "They seem too geek-bearing-giftish."

"Be nice," scolded Nani. "They were my friends growing up."

"They are part of our o'hana," Lilo added.

"Ih," agreed Stitch.

The ground began to shake. Part of a wall collapsed, revealing Gantu. "Come back here, you abomination!"

The prey, Experiment 451, giggled. He was an octopus-like creature, only with twelve tentacles instead of eight. He stood on four tentacles. Each one was black tipped and ended in a sharp point. The rest of his body was a soft ivory. His big black eyes gleamed.

Jumba laughed. "Oh, Experiment 451. Produces ink and squirts it. Can also erase ink and rewrite. I had him change amounts on checks, fudge blueprints, and oh yeah. Alter my mother's will to make me sole benefactor."

Stitch, extra pair of arms, spikes, and antennae emerging, ran to the experiment and clutched the tentacles. He squeezed. Thick, black ink sprayed, splattering in Gantu's face. Some of it got into the shark-like alien's blue eyes. Gantu slunk away in search of water.

Lilo looked at the creature. "I think I'll call you Inky. Now, to find the one place you belong. Hmm...the newspaper office had a 'help wanted' sign in the window. He'd be perfect."

Behind the plant, the twins looked at each other.

"That so-called dog is an alien," hissed Villefort quietly. "And I bet those two are too. We can blackmail them."

"You are so uncreative," snapped Maharene. She glanced down at the pot. Two small balls, one green and the other blue, were nestled in the dirt. One read '611', and the other read '079'. She picked the pods up and tucked them in her purse. "We're waiting for something better to come up."

Ten minutes later, Stitch was carrying all the luggage to the green jeep. He tossed them all in the backseat.

"My, what a well-trained dog you have, Lilo," Maharene commented.

Villefort rolled his eyes so hard, his monocle fell off.

Everyone haphazardly piled into the vehicle, and Nani drove off.

The jeep bounced when it hit a speedbump. Stitch was jostled into Villefort's lap.

"Get him off me!" The man squeaked. "What if he has fleas?"

"Stitch does not have fleas," Lilo said defensively, taking the dog-like creature back into her lap.

The blue alien extended his claws and prepared to attack Villefort, but thought better of it. Instinctively, he didn't like the twins. There was something about them. Something sinister. But like them or not, they were still part of Lilo's family. He retracted his claws and sighed.

"Nani," Maharene began. "My brother and I would like to take a walk by ourselves. Reacquaint ourselves with the island, see how it's changed. And I'm sure you have to go to work."

"Well, Mr. Jameson did say I could take the day off but it's tourist season--"

"Wonderful!" Villefort supplied. "We'll just get off here."

"Okay," Nani agreed. "You do remember where our house is?"

"As if it were yesterday," replied Maharene.

The older sister pulled over, and let her guests get off.

Once the jeep was gone, Villefort turned his sister. "What exactly did you want to wait for?"

Maharene pointed towards the airport. "The big guy."

"He definitely wanted that octopus. And Lilo's 'dog' seemed to know him. And the others didn't seem all that surprised to see him."

"Right. So we find him, we find answers."

"But, Renie, where are we going to find him?"

"Where can an eight-foot shark-headed monster hide?" Maharene retorted as they headed through the woods.

An hour passed by as the twins wandered through the woods. Finally they came to a waterfall. A black spaceship had crashed next to it.

Villefort shrugged. "I guess there."

TBC 


	2. The Bones are Cast

Villefort bowed to his sister. "Ladies first, my dear."  
  
"Oh, no. Age before beauty," replied Maharene.  
  
"I insist!"  
  
"No, I insist."  
  
Both sighed. "We'll go in together." They joined hands and stepped into the black battle cruiser, without even bothering to knock.  
  
Gantu had a plasma blaster drawn. "If you annoying Earth salespersons go away, I might not shoot!"  
  
"Wait!" Maharene cried. "We come in peace!"  
  
The eight-foot alien laughed. "Oh, please. Nobody falls for that cliché line."  
  
"Vaporize us if you must," Villefort replied in a taunting voice. "But you'd miss out on a great business opportunity."  
  
"Wait, big guy," 625 piped up through a mouthful of sandwich. "Let's hear them out before you do the usual violent reaction to anything you don't understand."  
  
What I don't understand is why I keep that useless freeloader around, thought Gantu but holstered his weapon. He kept one hand on it in case he needed to draw it again. "So, if you earthforms aren't salespeople, what are you doing in my 'humble abode'?"  
  
"We could ask what you're doing on our planet," answered the female twin coolly.  
  
"I'm not an alien. I'm a Samoan!"  
  
"Right," Villefort shook his head. "You're a Samoan. And that blue thing really is a dog!"  
  
Gantu growled. "The abomination?"  
  
625 devoured the rest of his sandwich. "I see you've met my cousin, Experiment 626."  
  
"Experiment?" Villefort hissed to his sister. "Do you see what I see?"  
  
"Yes, I do," she replied from the side of her mouth.  
  
The yellow creature continued. "Everybody knows Jumba Jookiba was a kooky mad scientist who got himself banished from his home planet for making illegal genetic experiments. 626 was designed to wreak havoc. I could too, but destroying cities just isn't as satisfying as a well-made sandwich."  
  
Maharene arched an eyebrow. "We're listening."  
  
"Uh, isn't there a sandwich in the kitchen that needs your attention?" Gantu interrupted nervously.  
  
625 ignored him. "My la-hoo-ser partner here keeps trying to catch them for an evil gerbil, but he's always getting his butt kicked by the little girl and my do-gooder cousin!"  
  
"These experiments," Villefort inquired. "All have numbers?"  
  
"Oh, sure. Course now a days some of them go by names. Like Splodyhead, Angel, and—"  
  
"That's enough!" Gantu snapped.  
  
"Stitch," finished the yellow koala-like creature.  
  
"Thank you," Maharene began. "And you are..."  
  
"Experiment 625, at your service. Gantu here sometimes calls me a few things I can't repeat in a G-rated story—"  
  
Gantu stomped an elephant-like foot. "625! Can't you keep your mouth shut?! You're giving away strategic information!"  
  
Maharene smiled as she opened the purse and removed the two experiment pods. "We needed that information, and we're willing to pay."  
  
625 grinned. "You humans are smart. Fish-face here would sell his own grandmother for those experiment pods."  
  
Gantu's hand curled into a fist. "Zip it, trog – or I'll zip it for you!"  
  
Villefort pointed at the 'trog.' "We want him. In exchange for these pods."  
  
"You want the sarcasm machine?" asked the former captain.  
  
"We do?" Maharene asked.  
  
Villefort elbowed her and extended his hand. "I do not joke about business."  
  
"Sold to the earthform!" Gantu reciprocated the handshake with a grip that nearly crushed the man's hand bones.  
  
"Now, now, G-man," 625 stammered. "We've had our differences."  
  
Gantu took the pods. "Stop whining. You're finally useful for something."  
  
625 shook his fist. "Well, who needs you?"  
  
"Come see your Auntie Renie, oopsie-poopsie," sang Maharene. "I'll let you play with my ruby bracelet – if you promise not to swallow it."  
  
The yellow koala-like creature crossed his arms. "I'm not a baby."  
  
The twins exited the ship and headed for Kokoua Town, strolling until they reached a dessert shop called Sweet Temptations.  
  
Lilo and Stitch were inside, calmly eating coconut cake. Stitch was also sipping from a cup of coffee.  
  
"May we sit here?" Villefort asked.  
  
Lilo nodded while Maharene set down 625.  
  
"Cousin?" Stitch asked.  
  
"What are you doing here, Sandwich Boy?" Lilo asked suspiciously.  
  
"I, uh, ran away from Gantu," lied the experiment.  
  
"We found him in the woods," quipped Villefort.  
  
Maharene returned with a box of marzipan and set it in front of 625. "If you want anything else, you need only ask."  
  
Hmm, thought 625. Maybe life with them won't be so bad.  
  
"Ooh," Stitch cried, reaching for the rich chocolate.  
  
625 slapped his paw. "Sorry, cuz. Those are for the beautiful experiments."  
  
Stitch crossed his arms. "Phooey."  
  
"It's just candy," Lilo said reassuringly.  
  
"Not just candy," retorted 625. "It's marzipan."  
  
"What's the difference?" the little girl asked innocently.  
  
"Marzipan is its own substance, like uranium and Velveeta. I mean, ever had a Velveeta sandwich, with garlic bread? Delish."  
  
Stitch just growled. "Selfish," he muttered in alien.  
  
Villefort rose. "Renie and I have to step out for a few seconds." They walked out the restaurant, where Lilo and the experiments could not hear them. "Did you see Stitch's reactions? It's just as I suspected."  
  
"What?" Maharene asked.  
  
"He's jealous of the little yellow rat. And apparently 625 doesn't like him that much either."  
  
"What's this got to do with us?"  
  
"Don't you see, Renie? Stitch – 626 – was designed to destroy stuff. But somehow he became our cousin's pet. And if we were to break his delicate balance, he'd got back to wrecking things."  
  
"I doubt that, Ville. Love is the most powerful force in the world, and Lilo apparently loves him very much."  
  
"We saw him lift those suitcases. That thing is a freak, and we can break him. If we broke up his friendship with our cousin, that might be enough to drive him over the edge..."  
  
"That'd be fun, but if we're going to do this, we'd need some stakes."  
  
Villefort smirked. "That's the best part. Ten bucks the creature goes mad."  
  
"You're on." Maharene grinned. "But why did we buy the cute little yellow experiment?"  
  
"Don't you feel the hostility between them? If we were to elevate 625's status..."  
  
"Then Stitch would feel inferior! That's brilliant!"  
  
"Yes, sometimes I amaze myself with my cleverness."  
  
The twins shook on their bet.  
  
Back at Gantu's ship, the former captain was studying his pods. He knew 611 was designed to be the ultimate superweapon, thanks to the mishap involving 119. "What does 079 do?" He entered it through the container computer.  
  
"Experiment 079. Primary function: Aurum transmutation."  
  
"Aurrum?" Gantu repeated. "What's that? Only one way to find out." He took a glass of water and dropped 079's pod. The pod expanded into a golden orb, then there was a flash of light.  
  
Experiment 079 was standing in the floor. He had shiny black eyes, and looked a little like a gopher. His fur was a golden brown. The fur caught the light, and seemed to sparkle like real gold. It almost hurt the eyes to look at him. 079 was rather pudgy. He stood on his hind paws and had a pair of front limbs that reached. He touched the glass with the front paws. When his fingers touched the clear glass, a dot of golden color appeared – then spread rapidly until the whole thing was bright and yellow.  
  
Gantu picked up the glass and tapped it. It was metal. And solid. Some of it rubbed off on his hand. "Holy nebulas. This experiment turns everything it touches to solid, twenty-four carat gold!"  
  
The experiment apparently was more comfortable walking on all fours, so he bent over. His front paws touched the titanium floor. Once the floor was gold, the tired creature curled up and fell asleep. Apparently, turning things to gold used up his energy, and only his front paws could perform transmutation.  
  
The shark-like alien realized the floor was solid gold, which is softer than lead. His immense weight was making him sink into the floor. "Oh, blitznak." He took the other experiment pod, and repeated the activation process. "I'm sure Dr. Hamsterviel won't mind if I borrow his superweapon to get a few more experiments from the trog and little girl."  
  
Experiment 611 was chartreuse and hot pink. The body was squarish, and the four feet looked more like tires. In fact, the whole thing resembled a small car. The headlights seemed to be the experiment's eyes. The exhaust pipe emitted carbon dioxide rather than uburnium exhaust. The body gleamed like metal, but Gantu found it felt warm to the touch. As paradoxical as it seemed, Experiment 611 seemed to be both living creature and metal machine. A very feminine creature and metal machine.  
  
"611," he finally said at last. "Is a car. A GIRL CAR!"  
  
611 emitted a growl, and squirted motor oil in Gantu's face.  
  
The loud noise woke 079 with a start. He leaped up on his hind feet and jumped on 611, who morphed into a unicycle. 079 pedaled with his hind paws out of the ship.  
  
Gantu grabbed his plasma blaster and started to give chase. "Come back here, you sneaky little trogs!"  
  
Unfortunately, the three aliens were heading straight toward Lilo, Stitch, 625, and the twins, who were heading to the Pelekai residence.  
  
079 hit a rock and was thrown off 611. He landed at Lilo's feet. One paw was in the air, and the other was on a rock. The rock changed to solid gold.  
  
The twins and 625 ducked behind a palm tree.  
  
"Cool," Lilo commented, picking up the rock. "This experiment turns things to gold! Like that king in the story. I'm going to call him Midas."  
  
Stitch ran to the fallen 611. Before his eyes, she morphed into a remarkable likeness of a cherry-red 1958 Plymouth Fury.  
  
The ground began to shake with Gantu's footfalls. The experiment hunter emerged. "Hand over the abomination, little girl!"  
  
"No," she cried, throwing her hands around Midas. "You can't have him!"  
  
Gantu opened a clear pill-shaped capsule and scooped up 079. "Oh, yes I can!"  
  
Lilo grabbed the other end. "Oh, no, you can't!"  
  
"Fine," Gantu growled, tilting the container so Midas slid out into the little girl's hands. Front paws first.  
  
Lilo felt her hand get heavier. To her horror, it was turning into yellow metal – and the effect was spreading.  
  
"LILO!" yelled Stitch. Before him, his best friend had turned to solid gold.  
  
Gantu snickered in mock sympathy. "Sorry about that, trog!"  
  
611, tires screeching, drove forward and slammed into Gantu's legs. Unfortunately, they were too solid for her to knock him down. The experiment hunter kicked her aside. She was too big for one of his capsules.  
  
"This isn't the last you'll see of me, abomination!" Gantu yelled, retreating. "I'll be back for those two experiments."  
  
Stitch wasn't even listening. He turned on 079, his extra set of limbs, antennae, and back spikes appearing. "Your fault!"  
  
Midas sniffled and began to cry. Stitch took the capsule and scooped him up in it.  
  
A tear dripped from 611's headlight eye. Stitch's grief was very visible.  
  
Sadly, the blue alien picked up the gold statue of his best friend and the capsule to begin the hike home. 611 and followed, not knowing where else to go.  
  
In the bushes, 625 commented to the twins, "So I guess those are the experiments. I knew Gantu wouldn't keep them for long."  
  
"Never mind that," Villefort hissed. "Go with your cousin. Renie and I have some shopping to do."  
  
625 shrugged and stepped out, following the tracks.  
  
Once the four experiments were out of earshot, Maharene turned to her brother. "It's working better than we thought. Lilo's out of the picture, and already 626 is grieving."  
  
Villefort nodded. "You don't seem too unhappy about our cousin becoming a block of solid gold."  
  
"I'm not," she replied. "If it weren't for her and her sister, their parents would still be alive."  
  
"Lilo and Nani aren't to blame for Auntie and Uncle's deaths," reasoned the older twin. "You've misplaced your blame."  
  
"Well, I need to blame somebody! Anyway, we're getting off the subject, Ville. Let's go out and buy some goodies for our little yellow pet."  
  
At the Pelekai house, Jumba met Stitch, who was carrying the gold Lilo. "Little girl turned to aurum?"  
  
"Ih," replied Stitch.  
  
Jumba glanced at Midas. "079. Little too set-off-happy with your golden touch, no?"  
  
Pleakley stared at 611 and screamed.  
  
"What are you screaming about?" asked the mad scientist.  
  
Pleakley put his hands on his hips. "That thing looks like that evil car from a book I rented from the library. You see, on Earth, they let you read books for free but still expect you to go to the bookstore to buy them. It's fascinating!" He held up a book titled Christine. "A car becomes totally evil and goes on the rampage."  
  
"That Stephen King earth person stole my idea!" Jumba insisted. "I wanted to make 611 both living, breathing creature and inanimate object. So I used genetic manipulation and cybernetic implants to make her into a buggy. In Qwelterkwan, auto accidents are the leading cause of death. I flunked my drivers test, so I needed a buggy that could drive itself anyway. She does not need uburnium to work, only oxygen. She has the best traction anyone can ask for, can be metamorphisizing into any vehicle, can outfly any police cruiser, and is self-repairing. Her body is curved and graceful, and she can change into any color I desire. Beauty in-car-nate! And to top it all off, she can run over people who upset and is armed to the grille with lasers and plasma cannons." He laughed. "She is my ultimate superweapon!"  
  
Pleakley shook his head. "She's a real, live Christine! Aaaugh!"  
  
Jumba rolled his four eyes. "Stop with the panicking, one-eye. 611 won't attack unless I tell her to."  
  
"Oh...good. But I'll still call her Christine."  
  
611's headlights blinked twice.  
  
"Apparently, she is likening new name." Jumba slapped Pleakley on the back too hard.  
  
"Toka oppropo 611 choota, gooba keso ba?" Stitch asked. ("If 611 is so good, why was she dehydrated?")  
  
Jumba shrugged. "Former in-laws made me get rid of her after she nearly ran over ex-wife."  
  
Stitch pointed to Lilo.  
  
"Do not worry about little girl," the former mad scientist said. "I have a formula stored in computer that can reverse 079's effects."  
  
Stitch sighed in relief.  
  
625 was in the bushes and had witnessed the whole thing. He waited outside by the door after Stitch, Pleakley, and Jumba had walked in.  
  
Jumba went into the room he shared with Pleakley to turn on the computer. He realized the cable was chewed through. "626, have you been using electric cords for floss again?"  
  
"Soka," he said, with his head hung.  
  
"Luckily, I am a genius so I can fix it. Won't take but a couple hours-" Jumba was interrupted by the door opening. "Bigger girl is back."  
  
Nani glanced at the gold Lilo statue in the living room and screamed.  
  
Pleakley ran to the living room. "Nani, this is not what you think."  
  
The older sister pointed towards the statue. "Is that really Lilo?"  
  
"Ih," Stitch replied sadly.  
  
"And how did this happen?"  
  
Stitch pointed to the capsule containing Midas on the coffee table. "Cousin."  
  
"I'm working on a cure," Jumba quipped.  
  
"I trusted all of you to protect my sister!" Nani wailed. "How could you let this happen?!"  
  
625 poked his head in the door. "I saw the whole thing. Stitch really could have saved her-"  
  
This was too much for Nani. Her cheeks were flushed red as she pointed towards the front door. "OUTSIDE! NOW! You are not allowed in this house until Lilo's flesh again."  
  
Stitch, head hung, walked out the door.  
  
625 crossed his arms in amusement. "Guess you really are in the doghouse. I never thought I'd see the day when you were in trouble and I'm not."  
  
Stitch ignored the taunts, threw himself on the ground and began to sob.  
  
TBC 


	3. The Awful Truth

After five minutes of crying, the little blue alien sat up. What was to worry about? Jumba would bring Lilo back, he'd find some way to make Nani forgive him, and in a few days the twins would go back to New York. Stitch sat up on the porch steps, feeling better.  
  
625 sat down beside him. "Sorry about the tyke, cuz," he said in a sympathetic tone. "It was out of line, even for Halibut Head."  
  
Stitch shrugged. "Gantu pacha sobie!"  
  
"Getting Gantu back is all within your sharp little claws," joked the yellow companion. "If you use that gold-making experiment." 625 shuddered at the mischievous gleam in his cousin's eyes. "You're not really going to turn Gantu into gold, are you?"  
  
"Sa jasa morda," replied Stitch, extending a claw and pointing to 625's throat, although not close enough to cut.  
  
625 inched away. "Remind me never to tick you off. The difference between you and me is that you get mad. I don't. All that stress is going to shorten your life. Everytime Gantu takes an experiment, you're ready to beat the blitznak out of him."  
  
"Cousins ohana!"  
  
"But you got the two experiments and the girl will be fine. Just call it even and leave Daddykins – er, the big dummy – alone. At least, until the next one's activated."  
  
Stitch conceded the point. "Why now?"  
  
"What?" 625 asked.  
  
"Gantu-o-itume?"  
  
"Because Renie appreciates me a lot more than G did."  
  
"Okee takka." His yellow cousin was a total mystery to Stitch. How could he stand living with the Big Dummy so long, especially if Fish-Face hated the experiments? Why was he so content to make sandwiches and sit on the sidelines? More often than not, he had regarded his predecessor as an adversary, but he had no real reason to hate 625. What difference did one number make? There were actually a few times when he seemed an ally, or at least sympathetic. Why were they so close, and yet so distant?  
  
Just then, a twig snapped underfoot. Villefort and Maharene arrived, arms full of shopping bags.  
  
Nani opened the door for them. "What do you want on your pizza?"  
  
Maharene wrinkled her nose. "Pizza! How vulgar! It's so fattening and don't get me started on the cholesterol!" "Nonsense, my dears," Villefort interrupted, pulling items out of his shopping bags. "I'll make dinner for all of us."  
  
"You don't have to," Nani protested.  
  
"But I want to," he replied, tying a white apron over his expensive suit. "And I assure you, my cooking skills have vastly improved."  
  
"Though the fire department loved your toast," teased his sister.  
  
Maharene's gaze fell on the gold Lilo. "What happened?" She asked even though she already knew.  
  
Nani sighed. "I could lie, and tell you it's just a statue, but you would see right through me. That's Lilo."  
  
"I guess your lucky star decided to shine."  
  
"What do you mean by that?"  
  
"Lilo is her weight in solid gold." Maharene patted the statue. "And I know some gold dealers that would pay a lot of money for something this size."  
  
Nani felt her stomach twist. "You're kidding, right? Because it's not funny."  
  
"I'm serious, Nani. You're free. You don't have to provide for her anymore. Once you sell her, she's gone forever. You're absolved from the responsibility. Granted, I'd miss her, but isn't she worth more to you like this than alive?"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Sell her, and take the money. It'll set you for life! You could marry that surfer dude boyfriend of yours and go to Paris!"  
  
"Maharene!" Nani's dark eyes flashed. "I can't believe what I'm hearing! Are you lolo? Lilo and I don't always get along, but we're ohana. Have you forgotten what ohana is? Oh, what has happened to you, Renie? You used to be so loving, and compassionate. And now you're so cold! So emotionless! You're changing, and I don't like it!"  
  
There was another knock on the door. Jumba looked up from his laptop, grumbled, and went to the door.  
  
On the doorstep was a tall, African American man dressed in a black suit. Dark sunglasses shielded his eyes. "Good evening, Dr. Jumba. Is Nani in?" The voice was in a clipped, business-like tone.  
  
"Who's he?" asked Maharene.  
  
Nani looked sheepish. "Uh, Renie, this is Cobra Bubbles."  
  
Maharene looked up at him, nearly getting a crick in her neck. "What kind of a name is Mr. Bubbles?"  
  
He looked coolly at her through his sunglasses. "Social Services, Special Classification. I check up on Lilo and Nani once in a while." He glanced at the golden 'statue.' Midas, who had been let out of the capsule by Jumba for some exercise, toddled by on all fours. The floorboards he touched were turning to gold.  
  
Villefort poked in. "Dinner is almost ready!"  
  
Mr. Bubbles turned to him. "Are you a chef?"  
  
"No, I'm a businessman."  
  
"What kind of business?"  
  
"None of your business!" Villefort snapped, retreating back to the kitchen.  
  
"Keep an eye on those two," Mr. Bubbles whispered to Nani before slamming the door behind him.  
  
Maharene waited until he was gone, then scooped 625 from the porch and re- entered the house. "You're not dressed for dinner yet!" She held out a small white shirt, little red bow tie, and black jacket.  
  
625 preferred to forget the last time he wore a suit, but took the clothes anyway.  
  
Villefort rang a silver bell. "Dinner is ready!"  
  
Everyone sat around the table.  
  
Stitch was outside the window, looking in. Villefort had prepared spaghetti. Pleakley struggled to roll the spaghetti on to his fork. Either he'd get too much, or it would fall off. Jumba had simply dug in with bare hands, slurping the strands as needed. The blue alien banged on the window "I can help you, I can help you," he mouthed in his native language. It was no use. Nobody heard him – save 625, who gave him a square-toothed smile and rubbed his stomach, as if to indicate Stitch was missing a real treat. The blue creature growled and raised his paws to break the window, but brought them down on the sill instead. The claws made deep, linear gouges. If there was a pillow nearby, he would have screamed into it.  
  
Inside, Pleakley lost his grip on the fork. The silver utensil flew through the air and landed in Maharene's lap.  
  
She looked silly. A strand of spaghetti dangled from her hair, and her dress was dotted in red sauce. A look of pure rage crossed her face, but she had to settle for shaking her fist at Pleakley. Maharene got up and walked into the living room, sinking into the plush chair – which was shiny and metal thanks to Midas, who was curled on the floor sleeping.  
  
Villefort, too, pushed his plate aside and headed for the bathroom.  
  
Nani nudged Jumba. "Did you find the recipe to get Lilo back?"  
  
"Computer battery recharging as we are speaking. I could get 221, but he'd probably be blowing it up. Should be done by now."  
  
625 climbed to the stove and scooped the remaining spaghetti on to a plate, then went outside. "Here, cos."  
  
"Takka."  
  
"Aw, what can I say? A good doggie always gets the table scraps, even if he's in the doghouse."  
  
Stitch growled and threw the plate with such force that 625 was knocked over.  
  
When 625 lifted the porcelain plate, his suit and fur were smeared with tomato sauce. "That's not funny!" After a pause, he added, "Do you have any idea how ironic this is? You actually envy me now!"  
  
"Akata!" Stitch's antennae, spines, and extra pair of arms popped out, the way they always did when he was angry. He leaped on his slightly older cousin. They were rolling on the ground, kicking and biting.  
  
625 was usually lazy, but he had self-preservation – and no Gantu to alert. He fought, but the 'upgraded model' was far superior.  
  
Stitch rolled the yellow experiment into a ball and tossed him into a basketball hoop. Suddenly, he felt himself being kicked aside.  
  
"Run away, honeydrop!" Maharene yelled. "That thing is a lunatic!"  
  
625 sniffled. "I was just trying to reason with him, but he just attacked me!"  
  
"Ajibba!" cried Stitch.  
  
Maharene picked up the mud-covered 625 and cooed to him "Oh, did he hurt my little butterboo?"  
  
Amazed at his acting skills, 625 looked over his patroness' shoulder and winked at Stitch.  
  
"Ika patooka!" Stitch spat out, before sticking out his tongue. "Bleah!"  
  
Inside, Nani was watching Jumba drop iron filings into a small flask.  
  
Jumba read from the computer file as he added a few drops of water into the beaker. "Iron, dihydrogen monoxide, and one more ingredient. Poof. Little girl is back to normal-like self."  
  
"What's the last ingredient?" asked Pleakley.  
  
"H-C-2-H-3-O-2," was the scientist's reply.  
  
"English, please!" snapped the cyclopic alien.  
  
"On Earth, is called acetic acid. Can be found in glaciers."  
  
"Does this look like Antarctica?" Nani snapped bitterly.  
  
"Fine. I will be trying to make acetic acid in chem lab on my ship." Jumba left his bedroom, not noticing Villefort next to the door.  
  
"Wow!" 625 commented. Maharene had rinsed the mud off him and dried him with a fluffy towel. Now he was looking at a small mahogany bed. There was even a pillow and a set of green and white silk sheets. "The cute little bed, the clothes, the dinner, and the marzipan. Why all this for me?"  
  
"Because you're so cute and snuggly-wuggly!" answered Maharene in a honeyed voice. She crawled into her sleeping bag on the floor and was snoring.  
  
Villefort plumped up his pillow and lay on the couch.  
  
"Hey, Ville," whispered 625. "What kind of sandwich does she like?"  
  
"Maharene? Eat sandwiches? Don't be ridiculous." Villefort looked irritated. "Don't you ever shut up? Leave me alone!"  
  
"Well, excuse moi!" 625 crawled under his silk sheets and went to sleep briefly. When he woke up, it was still pitch black outside. He tossed and turned, but couldn't go back to sleep. "I'll just make some sandwiches." He tiptoed to the kitchen and summarily prepared a short stack of lettuce and cucumber sandwiches, then took them back to his bed. After he shoved the last one into his mouth, he heard stirring.  
  
Maharene yawned and got up. She shook her brother awake. "Villefort!"  
  
"Mommy, Aunt Makana?" he muttered, as if he was in a dream.  
  
"Villefort! We have to talk! But not here!"  
  
Villefort yawned and followed his sister outside. Quietly, 625 followed them, to listen in.  
  
The twins slipped out the back door, quietly. Once they were a few yards from the house, Maharene began the conversation. "Fess up, Ville. I won."  
  
"It's not over until the little monster destroys this island!"  
  
"You saw what happened when I kicked him. He just got depressed."  
  
"He got mad. And if you hadn't interfered, he might have regressed by now."  
  
"When his precious best friend was frozen into solid gold, all he did was cry."  
  
"I guess you're right," Villefort conceded. "And perhaps we have tormented him enough. But what of the yellow rat? You've spent more on him today than you spend on me in a month."  
  
"He has outlived his usefulness."  
  
"Any usefulness he had," snarled the male twin. "On our flight back, I'll throw him out the window when we're over open ocean."  
  
"That seems cruel."  
  
"He'll eat us out of house and home! You've forgotten that he's only here for the bet!"  
  
"You have a point. He is really of no use to me anymore. I could cheer myself up by buying some new stocks or jewels."  
  
"So, back to 626. What do you say we wait and watch? If the abomination doesn't break something, I'll own up."  
  
"And since they don't realize that acetic acid is right under their sink, our little cousin won't be around anytime soon!"  
  
625 listened. An awful feeling rose in the pit of his stomach. He ran back to the house and crawled under the covers. "They used me!" He whispered in horrified realization.  
  
To Be Continued 


	4. Turning the Tables

"I never discuss scientific research with big dummies."   
  
"Then perhaps you'll discuss with your former partner, Dr. Hamsterviel."   
  
  
  
"Hamsterviel is...alive?"   
  
-- Jumba and Gantu, Stitch the Movie  
  
*******************************************  
  
"Are you going for a record?" yelled Hamsterviel.   
  
"The two experiments escaped," explained Gantu sheepishly.   
  
"Which ones were they?"   
  
"079 and 611."   
  
The hamster laughed. "611? You could not manage that one."   
  
Not thinking, Gantu retorted, "How do you know?!"   
  
"Because I knew that experiment personally!" Hamsterviel leaned back in his chair. "You see, it was a long time ago..."  
  
*********************************************  
  
(Kwelterkwan)   
  
"Six hundred and ten experiments...six hundred and ten dehydrations." Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel, in a white lab coat in lieu of his red cape, rubbed his hands together. "What have you made now?"   
  
Dr. Jumba Jookiba pointed to what looked like a lime green and pink coupe. "Allow me to be presenting the lovely Experiment 611: the Ultimate Superweapon."   
  
The partner looked dubious. "A car?"  
  
Jumba grinned as hundreds of lasers and plasma cannons popped out of 611. "Only looks like car. And she can become any sort of vehicle, except for watercraft. Will rust her finish." 611 transmuted into a rocket, helicopter, go-cart, and a 1958 red Plymouth Fury in succession."   
  
"Ooh, does it have a cupholder?" asked Hamsterviel.   
  
"Three!"   
  
The white hamster-like alien peered in through the window. "And leather upholstery!"   
  
Jumba ran a fat finger along 611's metal grille. "And she doesn't talk back, like ex-wife."   
  
Hamsterviel held out a check. "Here's your next payment."   
  
"Will have 612 ready by end of month."   
  
"Do you mind if I take Experiment 611 for a...test run?"  
  
"Am not recommending it. 611 does not like strangers."   
  
This got a laugh from Hamsterviel. "Now, now, Jumba. You don't think these experiments have FEELINGS, do you?"   
  
"This one loves her evil genius creator," cooed Jumba in reply. "Don't you, my little boochie-boo?" 611 made a purring sound.   
  
"I'll double that payment if you let me take it for a spin."   
  
"Her, not it!"   
  
"Whatever! Triple!"   
  
"I don't know--"  
  
"Quadruple!"   
  
"Well, 611 is self-repairing, so I suppose it'd be all right."   
  
"Excellent!" Hamsterviel tore up the original check and wrote another. Then the door to the driver's seat opened. A small staircase descended. The hamster climbed in, and pulled on the seat belt. "This chair is like sitting on a cloud!" The experiment pulled out, and drove away.   
  
Since the experiment was self-driving, Hamsterviel didn't even have to steer, which was good -- since he couldn't reach the pedals anyway. "Look ma, no steering wheel! Faster!"   
  
The vehicle obeyed, accelerating to sixty miles per hour.   
  
"Ah, when I conquer the Galatic Empire, this will my personal transport!"   
  
The locks on the doors clicked, but the lone passenger was too busy admiring his reflection in the rearview mirror.   
  
611, who would later earn the name Christine, quietly seethed. She couldn't shake the feeling of something sinister about Hamsterviel. He was a danger to her creator. Suddenly, she sped up to one hundred miles per hour.   
  
Now Hamsterviel was a little worried. "Slow down!"   
  
But she didn't slow. The speedometer now read 150 mph.   
  
The mad scientist felt beads of sweat forming. "Stop, you oh-so-speedy car, you!" A lump formed in his throat as the speedometer needle moved from 150 to 200. The tire-like feet were screeching across the slate pavement. Hamsterviel tried to undo his seatbelt, but it was stuck. He tried to open the door, but it was locked. I'm trapped!   
  
There was a horrible CRRRRRASH! 611 slammed head-on into a concrete culvert. Glass from the windshield littered the dashboard. Tiny shards adhered to Hamsterviel's fur and clothes.   
  
611 didn't stop. She reversed, backing up into a steel guardrail. The passenger screamed as the rail bent and allowed the car-like experiment to roll into a ravine. It turned over twice.   
  
"It's mad! It's trying to kill me!"   
  
What was your first clue, you idiotic gerbil? 611 thought to herself as she came to a complete stop. She was in total pain. Her metal body was scratched and dented. Two of her feet had been punctured. She could no longer drive in a straight line. The glass windows were shattered. 611 generally looked like an extra in a disaster movie. Yet she didn't care. Her hatred of Hamsterviel overrode her desire to save herself. The headlight eyes closed, and her breathing became ragged. Several of her plasma shooters had exploded, leaving burns and pits down her sides.  
  
By now, Hamsterviel's fur was soaked in sweat. One hand clutched his chest. "Jumba! He planned this!" He cut off his seat belt with a sharp piece of glass and shoved open the door. 611 was too weak to resist. "That four-eyed fatso planned for me to ride this experiment so it would kill me and he could keep them all for himself!" He shook a fist in the general direction of Jumba's lab. "I'll get you for this, Jookiba! Mark my sentences!" The would-be conquerer pulled off a burnt piece of his fur and left it on the seat. "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF JACQUES VON HAMSTERVIEL!" He coughed, then spat. "Ach. Hairball!"   
  
***********************************************  
  
"So," continued Hamsterviel. "My so-called death was in the papers. Jumba found the wrecked experiment in that ravine and healed it. It took him months, but he did it. Then he had to dehydrate 611 following a scandal--"  
  
"Zzzz..." Gantu had fallen asleep.   
  
"GANTU! Stop with all the sleeping while I'm reminiscing!"   
  
"Sorry, sir." Why couldn't 625 be around to make a sarcastic comment here?   
  
"Get me 611! Now!"  
  
"With all due respect, sir, why would you want that abomination if it tried to kill you?"   
  
"Are you crazy? All wheel drive, cruise control, and anti-lock brakes? It may be stubborn, but it's an oh-so-cool ride!"   
  
"How will I teleport it to you?"  
  
"Coax it into shrinking into a toy car, then trap it in a capsule! Do I have to do all the thinking myself?!"   
  
"And 079?"   
  
"WHAT DO YOU THINK?!"   
  
***********************************************  
  
625 was sitting up on his silk sheets. The twins had returned to bed and were snoring away.   
  
"They used me," the yellow koala-like creature growled. He climbed out of the bed and went outside via the dog door.   
  
Stitch was still on the ground, moping over his exile.   
  
"Cuz?" No answer. "Cousin?" Nothing. "SIX TWO SIX! I KNOW YOU'RE NOT ASLEEP, SO QUIT PRETENDING!"   
  
Stitch groaned.   
  
625 leaned against him, trying to get him up. "Cut the wallowing in self-pity." The blue alien wasn't budging. 625 pressed harder. It was like trying to move a mountain. He groaned. "Look, I knew I was a jerk. But it's not my fault. Villefort and Maharene did it. They're using us as pawns in some sort of game."  
  
"Ah, cachaba." ("Yeah right.")   
  
"I'm serious! I lied. I didn't run away from Gantu. He sold me to the Twin Terrors in exchange for two experiment pods. The same experiments you recovered earlier."   
  
Stitch gazed at his yellow cousin in the moonlight. He wanted to believe 625 was lying, but wanted to believe him. "Gaba?!"  
  
"You fail to save the cousins, you fail to save the little girl, you get thrown out. It was all to put pressure on you. Break your spirit. They made a bet. To see if you'd go back to your original 'destroy everything' programming."   
  
Stitch let out a howl of rage. He knew his lazy cousin all too well. The sandwich-maker would never put all the effort into making up such a lie. The back spines, arms, and antennae poking out, 626 ran to a tree and carved effigies of Maharene and Villefort. With a swipe of his sharp claws, he knocked the heads off.   
  
"That reminds me," 625 dove through the dog door and returned with a jug of vinegar. "There's something you should see."   
  
The two experiments climbed aboard Jumba's lab/ship. The scientist had fallen asleep at his table. Gas tanks, broken pencil leads, and the cure beaker were on the table. 625 took the beaker and poured in some vinegar.   
  
Stitch warily took the container, then shrugged and dumped it on the gold Lilo.   
  
Lilo's eyes fluttered. Her arms moved. She suddenly sneezed. Clouds of gold dust billowed in the air. But underneath, the little girl was flesh once again.   
  
Stitch was overjoyed. "Lilo!"   
  
Jumba awoke. "Ah, little girl. I see 626 has found some acetic acid."   
  
"Naga," admitted the blue extraterrestrial. "625."   
  
Jumba looked confused. "But how did prodigal experiment know where to find missing chemical?"   
  
"You have to ask?" the yellow experiment responded sarcastically. "You programmed us to think like supercomputers."   
  
The scientist turned back to Stitch. "Why didn't you know that?"   
  
Lilo interrupted. "Now we have to find a home for Midas."   
  
"It's too late now," Jumba advised. "Can wait till tomorrow. You don't hold grudge against 079?"  
  
"Nope. It was the big stinkyhead's fault."   
  
The foursome returned to the house. Lilo found a pair of oven mitts and opened Midas' capsule. She slipped the mittens on the experiment's front paws. The cloth turned to gold, but blocked his paws from touching anything else. "There. So you don't accidentally turn stuff to gold. We'll take them off when we find your one true place." Midas hugged her.   
  
625 yawned. "Too bad we can't get back at Villefort and Maharene for what they did."   
  
Stitch gave a mischievous grin. "Wanna bet?"   
  
TBC 


	5. Getting Even

Lilo had been filled in on the twins' Janus-like behavior. Sadness filled her face. "I'm sorry they treated you like that, Stitch. I don't understand."  
  
"Typical New Yorkers," snorted 625. "Others' pain is their pleasure."   
  
Within minutes, Stitch formed a plan. Thinking as quickly as a supercomputer had its advantages. With that, the threesome went to bed -- albeit with visions of the plan dancing through their minds.   
  
The next morning, after Villefort made Eggs Benedict for everyone, Phase One of the plan began. It all depended on Lilo.   
  
"Villefort," she said in the sweetest voice she could muster. "What do you do in New York City?"   
  
The sugar worked. Villefort's heart was rapidly turning to mush. "Let me show you, sweetheart." He opened the combination lock in his briefcase.   
  
"Seven-Four-Eight-Three. His birthday. Gemini," snorted 625. Stitch kicked him in the side. "Ow!"   
  
The businessman handed the little girl a certificate. "This, my little cousin, is a bond. Think of it as a loan with interest. You buy this piece of paper for $500. It has a five-year term with a five percent interest rate. Five percent of five hundred is twenty-five. Twenty-five times five is one hundred twenty-five. After five years, you turn in the paper and get five hundred dollars, plus that one hundred twenty-five. Time is money, as they say."   
  
"Cool!"  
  
"Keep the bond, kiddo. Consider it a late birthday present."  
  
"Want to go hiking?" Lilo asked.   
  
The twin pointed to his loafers. "Would ruin my shoes. Italian leather. Very expensive."   
  
"Not to mention it would spoil my manicure." Maharene had joined them.   
  
The little girl thought a moment. "How about the hula school? I don't have class today, but Moses is always there."   
  
"Moses is still there?" asked Villefort.   
  
Maharene sighed with nostalgia. "I used to love to do the hula. Let's go."   
  
Lilo grinned. "Follow me."   
  
Stitch waited until they were gone, then grabbed the briefcase and opened it.   
  
625 watched him. "If they find you snooping through their business records, they'll have both our guts for garters!"   
  
Stitch ignored him and kept reading. He finished browsing through the papers and shut the case. The blue alien carried it outside and boldly approached 611. "Hi." He opened the driver's side door.   
  
"We're going in that?" 625 asked.   
  
"Ih."   
  
"I want to go too," squeaked Midas in Turian.   
  
The seat was wide, comfortable enough for the three experiments to sit comfortably. Christine started her engine. Soon she was whizzing through the streets of Kokaua Town.   
  
625 clutched his stomach. "Hey! Slow down! This isn't Kwelterkwan! There are speed limits here!"   
  
Christine pulled to a stop in front of the Kokaua Newsletter's main office.   
  
625 held a hand to his heart. "This thing ought to be registered as a lethal weapon! Oh yeah. It is already is!"   
  
Stitch grabbed the briefcase and took it inside.   
  
Inky was seated at a desk labeled 'Editor in Chief.'   
  
Experiment 626 broke open the briefcase and spilled its contents on the desk. He leaned toward 451 and whispered in Turian exactly what he wanted Inky to do.   
  
The dodecapus nodded. In his short employment at the newspaper, he had found that his favorite section was business. Economics was fascinating, especially the stock market. He had already learned all the terms. Inky looked at one of the papers. It was an investment-grade bond -- Triple A, the best -- of $500 from a very stable and prosperous company. Six percent interest rate over ten years. 451 ran one flattened end of a tentacle across the three A's. The ink disappeared. He rewrote 'DDD' and altered the name of the company. Now it was a junk bond from a company about to go bankrupt. With a smile, the editor began to follow suit with the other bonds and stock certificates.   
  
Stitch added one more instruction, then climbed back into Christine. The vehicular experiment drove back to the Pelekais.   
  
Jumba and Pleakley were waiting. The blue experiment filled them in on his plan.   
  
Pleakley looked nervous. "Is that legal?"   
  
"All's fair in warring and loving," Jumba asserted as he patted Christine. She purred. "And I'm doing both, aren't I, my little boochie-boo?"   
  
625 had dashed to the kitchen to prepare another snack of sandwiches. Midas pulled one from the stack. The entire sandwich turned to gold, since one of Midas' gloves had fallen off. 079 popped the gold in his mouth. As soon as the sandwich touched his tongue, it turned back into bread, lettuce, and tomato. "Mmm, choota," the gopher-like experiment squeaked.   
  
Jumba patted Midas on the head. "Saliva of 079 contains water, acetic acid, and tiny bits of iron. All ingredients of reversal formula."   
  
"So that's why the little ratball's breath smells faintly like vinegar," observed 625. "Why didn't you tell us before."   
  
"Eh, would not be very sanitary."   
  
A few minutes later, other experiments began to arrive: Yin, Yang, Clip, Spooky, Richter, Kixx, Sparky, Cannonball, and Melty. Inky followed behind, carrying the briefcase.   
  
"Operation Get Even Phase Two," yawned 625. "I think I'll sit it out--" Stitch grabbed him and dragged him toward Christine, who morphed into a bus. The experiments and Jumba boarded.   
  
Pleakley tapped one of his three feet on the ground. "Nani won't approve of this!"   
  
"Approve of what?" Nani was behind Pleakley. Inky stretched out his tentacles, wrapped one each around Nani and Pleakley and yanked them onto the bus.   
  
After a five minute ride with minor squabbling from her passengers, Christine pulled herself into some brush.   
  
Stitch grinned to his partner. Together they lifted the briefcase -- only 625 shifted his shoulder so he wasn't baring most of the weight.   
  
Lilo was still talking to the twins.   
  
626 and 625 hesitated when they felt the ground shaking. The unmistakeable footfalls of Gantu.   
  
"625!" Gantu snarled. "How dare you work with that trog!"   
  
"FYI, Barracuda Buns," replied the sandwich-maker evenly. "I was working with my cuz to beat the twins. You know, the ones who gave you the pods? Turns out they were stringing us along like puppets. They had some creative conversations about what an absolute doorknob you are--"  
  
Gantu let out a howl of rage and stomped into the clearing. "Nobody makes a fool out of the Former Captain of the Galactic Federation!" He reached out and snatched Villefort with a mighty fist. The other hand grabbed his blaster. The prey struggled as Gantu pressed the blaster into the businessman's chest.   
  
Maharene was pale. She staggered backwards, only to trip over a log.   
  
Lilo kicked Gantu in the legs with all her might. "Leave them alone, you big dummy!"   
  
Gantu glared. Ordinarily, the little girl's kicking wouldn't hurt, but today he had a nasty bruise from when 611 slammed into him. He threw down Villefort, who awoke with a groan. "Where are 079 and 611?"   
  
"I don't know," Lilo lied.   
  
The shark-like alien stomped away, hoping to find the experiments.   
  
Stitch dropped the briefcase. It broke open, spilling its contents.   
  
"My briefcase!" squeaked Villefort. "You uncouth little beast!"   
  
Maharene read the papers. "These aren't ours."   
  
"They are," Stitch said in English.   
  
"They're worthless," wailed the female twin.   
  
Villefort's face was white. "That briefcase contained all our investments!"   
  
"Ya see," 625 piped up. "My cuz and I made a bet. I bet that we couldn't break and humiliate you, but my cousin said we could. I lost." He turned and handed Stitch a penny. "One Lincoln."   
  
"Our dignity for a single, solitary CENT!" shrieked Maharene.   
  
"Makamaka!" Stitch yelled. The experiments downloaded from Christine. Jumba, Nani, and Pleakley got out and watched as the creatures surrounded the twins.   
  
Quick as lightning, Clip leaped on Maharene's head and shaved off all her long black hair. She burped, then took a nibble from Villefort's head.   
  
"OK, male pattern baldness isn't so bad," the man commented just as Kixx landed a blow to his back. "On the other hand, a kidney hematoma is."   
  
Richter shook the ground, knocking the two humans off their feet. Melty leaped forward and melted Villefort's Rolex watch. Yang burned off the hem of Maharene's dress. Yin sprayed them both with water. Inky covered them with ink. Cannonball leaped into a mud puddle, splashing them both. Sparky shocked them. Spooky morphed into Maharene, only with torn clothes and a dirt-streaked face. Christine appeared, in her cherry-red Plymouth Fury form. Villefort, whom I should mention is a huge Stephen King fan, let out a scream of pure terror.   
  
The experiments withdrew.   
  
"Naneeeeeeeee!" whined Maharene.   
  
Nani shrugged. "Sorry, Renie, but you asked for it."   
  
Villefort's monocle had shattered. Only the rim was left in his eye. "I'm not spending another minute here!" He grabbed his sister's wrist and they ran as fast as they could to the airport.   
  
Once they were out of sight, 625 shook Stitch's hand. "Now we're even?"   
  
Stitch punched him in the stomach. "Now we're even."   
  
Everyone piled into Christine and headed home, save for 625 who ran in the direction of Gantu's ship.   
  
Mr. Jameson and his son was waiting at the Pelekai house porch. Christine, still in her 1958 Fury image, parked herself and everyone got out. Jameson's mouth dropped open.   
  
"Dad, are you all right?" asked Keoni.   
  
"Am I all right?" cried Mr. Jameson. "Why, look! That's a piece of automobile history! A mint 1958 Plymouth Fury -- in perfect condition! Not a scratch, not a dent! She looks like she rolled off the assembly line!" He peeked at the chrome. "I can see myself!"   
  
"What's wrong with your dad?" Lilo asked Keoni.   
  
"Oh, he collects old cars, which he restores and pampers like royalty. It's so embarrassing," Keoni explained.   
  
_Keoni gets embarrassed_? Lilo thought. _He's human!   
_  
"Is this your car, Uncle Jumba?" asked Mr. Jameson.   
  
"She is." Jumba's four eyes narrowed. "Why?"   
  
"I want her for my collection. You can name your price."   
  
"NEVER!" roared Jumba. "Evil genius creation and evil genius creator reunited after long period of separation! Only over corpse will anyone take my boochie-boo from me!"   
  
"She's a car, Jumba!" scolded Nani.   
  
"You don't need another antique, Dad," whined Keoni. "Where would you park it?"   
  
"Oh, I've got a space between my Bentley and Rolls-Royce."   
  
"How much are you willing to pay?" Nani asked.   
  
"Do you have any idea how much a 1958 Plymouth Fury goes for? Let alone custom job and perfect condition?" Mr. Jameson scribbled an amount on the cheek. "I added several thousand dollars to the general asking price of a Fury in excellent condition."   
  
Nani nearly fainted at the amount. "You could buy a Ferrari. Or a house! A nice house."   
  
"Keep it!" snarled Jumba.   
  
"Jumba," Lilo whispered. "We found Angel a home, so why can't we give Christine one? If Mr. Jameson wants to pay that much for her, he'll treat her well."   
  
The Kwelterkwanian looked like he'd rather be in the dentist's chair. "Do you want to go with nice man?"   
  
Christine's headlights flashed "I-H" in Morse Code.   
  
Jumba sighed. "May I visit her?"   
  
"Anytime, as long as you don't touch any of the others."   
  
"Is deal," the scientist resigned.   
  
"I'm for redehydration--" Pleakley began but Stitch elbowed him.   
  
Lilo turned to Midas. "Now we have to find the One True Place for you."   
  
"I'm afraid that's not possible," Cobra Bubbles had suddenly appeared. He spoke with a reluctant voice, as if he were steeling himself. "I'm afraid I have to do away with this particular experiment."   
  
"Do away with?!" cried Lilo. "You mean...kill him? You can't!"   
  
Midas shivered and buried his face in Lilo's dress.   
  
"Lilo," Cobra said patiently. "This creature makes gold ou of worthless things. He makes a lot of gold, and people will be fighting over him. They'll try to hoard as much gold as possible. There'll be so much gold that the price will go down. And then there will be runaway inflation."   
  
"What if he controls his ability?" asked Lilo.   
  
"I suppose I wouldn't have to destroy him, then. I'll give you one week."   
  
"Choota!" Stitch smiled.   
  
A few minutes later, everything was back to normal. Lilo, Stitch, and Midas were on a park bench, eating shave ice. Midas was still wearing his mittens.   
  
A man sat down by them, looking glum. He was dressed in long, brown robes, which Lilo found very odd. Men in Hawaii usually wore shorts in hot weather.   
  
"Why are you sad, Mister?" she asked at last.   
  
"You can call me Brother Frank," replied the man. "I'm sad because my dog died yesterday. All the brothers at the monastery loved Dribbles. He was practically our mascot."   
  
"That's awful," replied Lilo.   
  
Midas sniffled and buried his face in the monk's robe. The monk stroked his fur.   
  
"Do you like gold?" Lilo asked.   
  
Brother Frank frowned. "Gold? I'm a monk, not a jeweler. What use would I have for gold?"   
  
Lilo beamed. "You can have Midas."   
  
"Midas?" The brother smiled. "He seems like a friendly guy. But what about you?"   
  
"Stitch is all I need." The little girl hugged the blue experiment, who returned the embrace.   
  
625 entered the ship.   
  
"What are you doing here?" asked Gantu.   
  
"Well, since the twins went home--"  
  
"Forget it. Go freeload off someone else."   
  
"Please?"   
  
"No!"   
  
"You force me to go to extreme measures." 625's square toothed smile curved downward. His big black eyes widened and watered up. His ears sagged. Even his fronds drooped sadly.   
  
"Don't give me that look!" Gantu groaned. "All right. You can stay." _And to think, one more minute and I might have missed him.   
_  
The end. 


End file.
